Reminisce
by Misoka Mine
Summary: A collection of ficlets focusing on the relationships between Conrad, Julia, and Yuuri. Some are pairing and character centric. ConradJulia, JuliaAdalbert, slight ConradYuuri.
1. Offering

I do not own Kyou Kara Maou or any of the characters in it. The copyright holder is Tomo Takabayashi.

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"I would give my heart and life to you," he told Julia one day. It was long before the war, before he had been forced to realize how much he wanted to live, and before he realized how much heartache she would bring him.

He regretted a lot of things in regards to his relationship with her, but he never regretted telling her that.

However, she had only smiled serenely at his statement. "I do not deserve either," she said.

He had agreed with most of the things Julia had said, but he had not agreed with her on that point.

Thirty years later an innocent boy rides on a horse, heading towards the capital of what would become his kingdom. Conrart could see the person he had loved inside Yuuri, so he offers his heart and life again.

This time he understands how desperately he wishes to live, and after having his heart broken offering it is far harder then it had been. But this boy is the kingdom's hope--and his hope as well, so he offers everything he has to give.

Yuuri, however, does not know these things and refuses them out of hand.


	2. Shame

Before Ruttenberg there was a moment--he could no longer remember what had led up to it--when he had been simply been unable to go on. He had told her this standing before her, feeling weak and ashamed but having no other confidant who would understand.

It had surprised him to feel her delicate arms wrap around him in a hug. She had rested her cheek gently against his chest, and he could feel the warmth of her breath.

_Have faith_, she had said with that gesture. There was no exchange of Maryoku, as when she comforted his mother, but it was just as potent to his spirit.

He felt even more ashamed now then he had then when Yuuri hugged him, his loss and confusion evident in every move he made. He felt ashamed because he was not sure if he had the strength to give back the comfort she had given him.


	3. Guilt

Yuuri woke up late one night. For a moment, he felt as if he were still in that dream, but he realized that the body on the other side of the bed was much smaller then the one that had been present there in his dream.

He put a hand to his lips, just as she had done in the dream--or was it a memory? Because that memory could belong to no one other than Susannah Julia.

She had been getting ready to go to bed, trying her best not to think about what had transpired. She had gotten into her bed next to her fiancé, and had tried to go to sleep.

Yuuri decided he should do the same.

However, even twenty years later and a lifetime apart, the kiss Conrad had given her still felt fresh and the guilt was just as heavy on his stomach.


	4. Connection

Conrart had not realized that the pendant Julia had given him was connected to her soul until he felt the powerful energy from it as he lay, dying, on the battlefield at Ruttenberg. The pendant had felt hot against his skin, and from that point he could feel the healing Maryoku working into his wounds.

He had felt her die--a steady rise in energy, and then a great dam seemed to break and it flowed so strongly that he moaned in agony.

Then it had stopped, and the sensation of her fading into death was worse then any of his wounds.


	5. Wishes

He had been prepared to give her anything she wished. He had inherited from his mother an enjoyment of lavishing his loved ones, and he always listened to see if she asked for anything.

She rarely asked for anything, and he never understood why.

They were discussing a drought Shin Makoku was experiencing, and Conrart had started to say that he wised it would rain, but Julia stopped him by placing a gentle finger on his lips.

"Do not wish for things lightly," she said. "Shinou is powerful, and he might just grant your wish regardless of any consequences."

A few years later, they stood together in a castle tower silently watching preparations for the war below. There was a miasma of grim determination about the whole castle, and he knew even she could feel it.

"I wish there were no wars," she had said quietly, a light echo in the large, silent room.

He could not find any way to reply to that. He could not give that to her, and secretly he thought her wish was impossible.

Shinou granted her wish by making her the next Maou, who could determine whether or not the country went to war.

Conrart, who knew that it was rather unnecessary to want to spoil his king, listened to what he said as well to see if he could do anything for him anyway. While Yuuri tended to complain more than her, he never wished for anything.

He made all of his wishes come true on his own.


	6. Rain

Julia had loved the rain--it was the easiest weather for her to experience with all of her senses.

"It's a natural symphony," she said to him once during a rainstorm.

After she died and his world took on a gray and miserable tinge, he often looked outside during a rain shower and thought of her. Thoughts of her often lead to thoughts of the little boy he had left behind on Earth. His life seemed to be divided by her presence--life before meeting her, life with her, life after she died, and life while waiting for the new Maou to grow up and find out his destiny.

It wasn't a surprise to Conrart when, upon transforming into the Maou, rain began to fall out of a calm blue sky and dry clouds. He imagined that Julia had asked to be a water user, in her discussion with Shinou.

He imagined that the threats of justice had not been a part of Julia and Shinou's bargaining.


	7. Plan

_"There are those that would not walk down this path so quickly. Are you sure you will not regret this?"_ asked King Shinou.

"I am prepared," Julia stated again, "and I understand to what I am agreeing." Her voice was calm, but it did not hold any emotion.

The normally cheerful expression on her face was replaced by a serious frown, so he could not determine whether or not she was determined or merely foolish.

Shinou thought, however, either emotion on her part would give him the outcome he desired for his plan.


	8. So Hard to Say

She could not say it.

She knew she loved Adelbert. She could feel it; the warm happiness she felt around him could be nothing else. Every time she tried to tell him how she felt, however, she would think of Conrart and the words would die in her throat.


	9. Memories

Sometimes Yuuri caught memories of his former life as Susannah Julia.

Like when he was in the library with Wolfram, and he remembered Wolfram's first lesson in healing Maryoku, and how he had complained about having to learn such "a weak form of Maryoku."

Gisela tending a patient in the healing ward of the castle once brought back the sounds of the war, after a particularly bad battle and they had too many patients and not enough healers to even make a dent in the amount of injuries. The sounds of moaning patients had been even louder in his ears then Wolfram's attempts to get his attention.

However, more often then not it was Conrad that brought back the most memories of his past life. Most of them were jumbled and confused, but when he saw Conrad's loving smile he could not help but wonder what he expected of him.

He did not remember that Julia had often wondered the same thing.


	10. Understanding

There was an understanding with Julia that he had with no one else. He knew that there was something important in the future he had to do, that he had a feeling most of them were a part of. She seemed to know what this secret was, but she did not share this with him. She just reassured him that he was right.

However, as Conrart stared at the boxes sitting in the temple, he wondered if he would have preferred to remain ignorant.


	11. Full Potential

Julia had always been an excellent healer. At a very young age she proved herself capable of healing more injuries then even the most experienced healers in the country. She was widely known as one of the best, and even the Queen went to see her for her ailments.

However, after Priestess Ulrike called her to Shinou's Temple, Gisela noticed a drastic shift in Julia's healing tendencies.

She healed even more patients then before, and she even started taking patients that were known to have incurable diseases. No one could explain this until it became known that she had managed to heal some of these impossible cases.

Her reputation grew even more, and all of the other healers wanted to know how she was accomplishing this. The only answer Julia would give was that she was just tapping into her powers better.

Gisela, who had known Julia since childhood, knew that she was not telling the whole truth with this answer.

Gisela was eating dinner with her when she decided to ask. "Julia, what has made you so much more powerful then before?"

"I'm not any more powerful then before," she said. Gisela was about to protest when she continued on. "I've always had this power, and I think anyone with Maryoku is capable of this. It all depends on if you are brave enough to tap into it."

Gisela did not understand what she had said. "But what made you brave enough to do what you are doing?"

"I realized I could die," she said.

Gisela had been about to say something else, but it was forgotten at Julia's statement.

"Everyone knows they'll die. That is why life is so urgent. But I know now that I'll die soon. I realized that all I have might be now, this moment I'm living, so I decided I ought to tap into the full potential of my powers. It is a risk, but one I am willing to take."

Gisela was horrified. She could not imagine life without Julia working alongside her, and longed to ask Julia what she meant by she was going to die soon. But Julia was wearing a calm smile as she continued eating, and Gisela knew her well enough that this meant she would not answer any more questions.


End file.
